distant drummer...

His name was Russell. He had died at the young age of 30. He experienced life to the fullest, backpacking alone all over the world. There's not one thing Russell didn't want to experience, he had a top job in Sydney, earning the big bucks and drove around in a 1970's red corvette. Even to this day, when the song comes on by Prince, I smile to myself. He loved that song. To his friends, he was the life of the party and someone who was bright, had a promising future and would give a hand to anyone when in need. He loved his job and travelled the world with his earnings. He wasn't one to spend up big on fancy new items, he was happy being Russell, with awesome, long blond hair and a beautiful smile. In fact, he looked like Legolas from Lord of the Rings!

Russell had been admitted to the hospital suffering a heroin overdose. This was his first time he'd tried it with some mates at a party.

A few weeks later, Russell was found dead in his Sydney unit, after having an argument with his girlfriend the night before. She had left Russell out with his mates and came home, gone to bed and had found him the next morning, in the lounge room. He had tried heroin again. But this time, it took his life.

Russell came to me when I did an 8 week meditation course back in 2001. He would talk to me often. He told me to tell A about the stereo they blew up years before and how they were called 'the stereo brothers'.

I was in quite a destructive relationship at the time with A. Russell was A's best friend, from years before. A always blamed himself for Russell's death. Actually, he was still searching for that man that sold Russell the heroin. That really never sat too well with me. 3 years later, I left A, unable to cope with the sheer depression and amount of drinking he was subjecting himself too.

I haven't spoken to Russell in years. He left me a while ago. I did go down to see his parents in Penrith and stay with them a couple of times (without A and long after we ended our relationship) - to me, Russell's parents are scarred and will never be the same. It was their only child. I stayed in Russell's bedroom. His bedside light would switch on every night before I headed to bed. It was magical having him with us. I even went out to the garage to his beloved red corvette and spent time with him there.

I can sleep knowing that I passed messages onto his parents that he wanted them to hear. To this day, his parents still keep in touch with me. I believe I will always be very close with them. And although Russell has gone now, I believe I'll always hold a special thing in my heart for him. Rest in Peace dear Russell. Life is huge.