motherhood

Motherhood would have to be the hardest job in the world. Nothing even comes close to the responsibility you have looking after your children. I really had no idea it would be as challenging as it is. I had a couple of women talk honestly to me about motherhood before I even fell pregnant and they told me to strongly think about it before taking the plunge. Pfffft what would they know? It won't be hard, they're my kids, I'll just feed them, they'll sleep when they're supposed to, right through the night, like me. I'll still be able to use the GHD and put my make up on through the day, every day.

Looking back now, walking to work with my iPod, listening to awesome tunes, trying to dodge the cracks in the pavers with those very high heel shoes on my feet, looking all business like, hair perfect, make up great, smelling gorgeous....ahhhh....wines in the city after work only to catch a taxi home, what a different time in my life that was.

I was talking to my beauty therapist last night about how awesome it would be just to SIT and EAT dinner QUIETLY, ever so SLOWLY and perhaps not have to skull your glass of wine as the kids are whinging for a bath.

So, after much ado, I am proud to say that I was a bit psycho for a few years, leading up to Miss M's birth and maybe just a tad afterwards (mainly due to sleep deprivation). Sleep deprivation sort of changes pretty much everything in your brain. Someone sparking up a lawnmower next door on a Saturday morning doing normal things can potentially have the effect to send you nucking futs and start screaming. Hmmm....not that it happened but I came close.

I was however diagnosed with GAD in late 2006. All I can say is "poor Mr G" - he put up with heaps but he stuck through it and by me, thick and thin. Thankfully, he gave me an ultimatum, go get help or else I'm out of here. So, off I toddled.

Only recently (and I will say over the years I've been improving little by little) I can safely say I'm 100% well. I don't have anxiety attacks anymore nor do I think irrationally about all sorts of situations. I'm me. I love me. I love my life. My man. My kids. I even love not having a short fuse these days.

So, back to motherhood, yes, it could send anyone bonkers. But you wouldn't change it for the world. Maybe just fantasize a little about some peace and quiet.

In my typical day, I don't have much time to sit here and actually blog. Although I love blogging. And I love writing. And I love reading my friend's blogs. I just love everything there is about feelings, spirituality, emotions and why we're here on earth for this short time. I'm intrigued at pretty much everything to do with nature and people these days. So, getting back to my typical day. It starts at 5.30am and it doesn't completely end until I tuck my munchkins into bed at 7.00pm, it's go go go, all day, every day. Whether it be sorting washing, folding washing, hanging out washing, sweeping, mopping, cooking, skulling a cup of coffee (watching not to burn mouth) in between chores, breakfast for the kids, cleaning up after the kids, wiping their faces and hands 100 times a day, dressing them, undressing them, changing nappies, helping Miss M toilet, putting the kidlets down for their sleeps, washing up, doing actual work for my business from home, driving the girl to and from kindy, shopping for leisurely reasons, shopping for food, visiting friends and bath time only to collapse at 7.00pm with a glass of red in my right hand and watch some boring television. Oh hang on a minute, I forgot about the recent challenge, my two toddlers (yes that's what they are now, toddlers) arguing, not sharing and fighting. Although they love each other very much and will play happily. But OMFG they're both defiant creatures and very, very headstrong. So yes, there's breaking them up on a regular basis.

MOTHERHOOD IS NOT FOR WIMPS!