My Mum read me a piece from her local paper today. She cut it out and it now resides on her refrigerator. It would have to be one of the most awesome things I've heard in a long time. The man who wrote it is Barton Goldsmith and this is a little snippet of what he wrote in his book 100 Ways to Boost Your Confidence!
"Most of the time, finding out who you really are is an ever-changing process. It just makes sense that when life circumstances change, your personality has to adapt. That change will create a difference in how you see and deal with the world and how that world looks at you.
If at 40 you are the same person you were in school, something isn't working quite right. For example, if you choose to marry, your life is going to be very different; if you have kids, that difference is multiplied a hundredfold. You can't be your old self with all of this new responsibility. Growth or stagnation is your choice here; immaturity is an option only if you want an unfulfilled life.
Being who you really are is different from what you do, whom you're with, and even what you believe in. If you like being nasty, and you feel that you are being authentic, you have every right to behave in that manner, but I seriously doubt that you will get what you think you want. Often, people who behave in a negative manner think that they are doing the right thing. When asked deep questions, however, most neg-aholics are unable to defend their bad behavior, although they may be great at coming up with excuses.
We all have known people who are phony and two-faced. They smile with warmth but treat you colder than a polar bear. You may think it's a mistake at first, a one-off that will never happen again. All of that changes as you struggle to get the knife out of your back and you see the other person for who he or she really is.
Some people do truly struggle with identity issues. "Should I be like my parents, like my teachers, or like Charlie Sheen?" You may become enchanted by the glitz and glitter of having your own reality TV show. You might decide to help those less fortunate in distant lands. Whatever your choice, it all has to resonate and feel right inside your heart and head. That's when you are being who you really are.
If you are struggling to reinvent yourself right now, remember that a happy life doesn't depend on money, sex, or power. It is determined by how much you like yourself and who is close to you. Whether you create a large life or a modest one, the people who really care about you will not judge you. If you are feeling judged, a discussion or change is in order.
Lastly, no one can tell you who to be. That person who you really are is there inside you. You'll get signs along the way to see how you should be in your life so that you end up happy with yourself. Just follow them."
This is a wonderful piece of writing. I used to be that two-faced person. Thank goodness I can look back when I'm forty (I mean, I'm doing it right now) and really see that I've come so far from high school. How my life has changed. I can't put into words just how different and adequate I feel within my own skin. Life is beautiful. Be kind to others. Be honest. Be open. Love who you are. It doesn't matter what people think of you. All that matters is how you feel within yourself.
Perhaps that's why Elizabeth Gilbert went to Italy, then India, then Bali...
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